Breakfast Time

Berk: Buzz off! That Drutt gets everywhere. [Noises from upstairs]

Boni: Your Lord and Master is getting up.

Berk: Ah, on the wrong side of the bed. [Louder series of noises from upstairs]

The Thing Upstairs: Cor! Berk!

Boni: His Master's voice.

The Thing Upstairs: Where's my breakfast?

Berk: Yes, sire. Oh certainly, sire. Great bags full of it, sire. Make gourmet's delight, sire, you will relish every mouthful and what a mouth.

Boni: He should have his own cookery programme on the television.

Berk: [Puts food into oven] Grubbage! Won't be long old fattage, it's in the oven. Buzz off! [To Drutt] Cor! Sniff that! [About the food]

The Thing Upstairs: Berk! Are you fiddling about with that Trap Door?

Berk: Oh no, sir. Certainly not, sir. Don't ask if I would.

The Thing Upstairs: Don't!

Berk: Great grum futtocks tufts as if I would, as if I haven't got enough to do. [Opens The Trap Door]

Boni: I wouldn't do that.

Berk: Worms.

Boni: Worms?

Berk: Worms! I've got a recipe for them. [A yellow monster comes out of The Trap Door] Hullo...ooooh...here, hang about a bit! [Monster spies The Thing Upstairs's breakfast] Don't even think about it! [Monster proceeds to eat The Thing Upstairs's breakfast] Oi! Oi, you you stop that! If you so much as touch one of 'em! Look at that! He's eaten his breakfast! Now what am I gonna do...

Boni: Berk, old chap. You've left The Trap Door open.

Berk: ...here's me slaving away all. What of it?

Boni: Don't you think it might be a good idea if... [Big red monster comes out of The Trap Door] ...oh!

Berk: What is it? Oh Globbits! Oh Globbits! Oh Globbits! [Runs and hides] Aha, a mirror! [The big red monster bursts through the door. Berk hides behind the mirror. The monster sees it's own reflection, and runs off scared] Well, on reflection, I think that worked quite well. [Monster runs back down The Trap Door, which slams shut behind]

Boni: I must say. He was an ugly brute.

The Thing Upstairs: Berk! Where's my breakfast?

Berk: Uh-oh, inside the big yellow thing, your gluttitudinous-ness. [Pulls monster into the lift to The Thing Upstairs's bedroom] Right, c'mon. Talk about fast food! In you go, in you go! Chef's special coming up, sire!

The Thing Upstairs: Cor! Mmmm, cor, this is excellent!

Slither, Wriggle & Writhe

Boni: What did you say Berk?

Berk: I said I'm D.I.M.

Boni: Dim...yes, that's very true.

Berk: Not dim...I'm Doin' It Meself.

Boni: You're doing it with me.

Berk: Oh, stop moaning.

Boni: I'm not moaning...it's just that...

Berk: I need yeh help puttin' me shelves up that's all...not much to ask is it? Clear off you! [To Drutt] Right, steady does it, there that looks about right. Nice and sturdy too. [Puts shelves up]

Boni: This isn't very comfy...

Berk: Don't talk! Or I'll lose me balance.

Boni: I was just saying...

Berk: [Falls] Oh, I've lost me balance!

The Thing Upstairs: Berk! What's all that noise?

Berk: Just putting up those shelves like you told me to, sire.

The Thing Upstairs: Just keep it down!

Berk: Well, denture face, you weren't much help, were you? [To Boni]

Boni: I never said I wanted to be.

Berk: Now look. All me woods broken, and him upstairs is going on at me...

Boni: Now look who's moaning!

Berk: Gotta find some more wood. [Indicting The Trap Door] Ah, I could use the wood from this.

Boni: I wouldn't recommend it.

Berk: Ah, this'll do nicely! [A monster with tentacles emerges from The Trap Door] Oh!

Boni: What did I say? What did I say?

Berk: Oi! Who asked you in? Oh dear, oh dear, what am I gonna do now? [Berk gets hit on the head by the monster with a plank of wood]

Boni: If I told you once, I told you... [Monster grabs Boni and spins him around]

Berk: Now look here! [Monster comes back up, and drags Berk down The Trap Door] Wait a minute!

Boni: There he goes!

[BERK pops back up briefly, before being dragged back down again, and then finally booted up into the ceiling]

Berk: Hang about, here's a nice bit of wood!

Boni: Don't forget our little problem down here, Berk!

Berk: Big problem up here is how to get this bit of wood down. [Monster pulls Berk back down, hitting the ground with a thud] Grrr...right, it's bonking time. I loves a bit of bonking. [Starts hitting the monster] 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 can't remember the rest! [Monster pokes one last tentacle back up] 12! Well, that's sorted that lot out. I could even use this bit of rafter for me shelves. Where's Boni? [Boni pokes his head out of his hole]

Boni: Not here.

Berk: Oh well. Do it on me own then! [Some time later] Ah, there we are. Nice and sturdy too. Boni? Boni? What do you think of me shelves then?

Boni: Very nice, Berk. Very nice.

Berk: Well that's that.

The Thing Upstairs: Berk? Berk? [Selves rattle]

Berk: Oh, sheer great bloat hit my shelves. Noisy windbag!

The Thing Upstairs: Berk! [Shelves collapse] Have ya finished those shelves yet?

Food For Thort

Boni: Hmmm. Everything's rather quiet around here today.

The Thing Upstairs: Berk!

Berk: Oh, what does he want now I wonder. What is it, old soft and spongy one?

The Thing Upstairs: How's my garden? I hope it's looking nice!

Berk: Oh, yes. I forgot all about his rotten garden. Yes, your wobble-wobbliness. It's looking lovely.

The Thing Upstairs: Lovely!

Berk: Oh, I better go have a look I suppose. Tell the truth, I think his garden's horrible. I bet those plants have grown a bit by now.

Boni: I expect they're hungry too!

Berk: Alright, alright, keep the noise down. Oh dear, horrible things do look a bit hungry don't they? Alright you noisy lot, I'll get you something to eat. I don't know, you ever heard so much row from a bunch of rotten vegetables! Here you are then, dinner time! Some for you and a little bit for you, a piece for - ouch! Greedy, aren't they? Suppose I better go feed Thort now, old fatty's favourite vegetable. Where are you my little cabbage? [Thort snaps at Berk] Cor! He's grown a bit. Scared the life out of me then. Oh well. Here you are the, steady, don't snatch! Whoever saw an onion with a beak? I said, don't snatch! There's no need to get all...hey...watch it! [Thort chases Berk out] Don't be so greedy! Cor, this vegetable is dangerous. Well, that's this lot taken care of, I suppose I better get some dinner for him upstairs now.

Worm Pie, I think. There's worms down the Trap Door. [Opens Trap Door, and some Wasps fly out] Trouble is, there's other things down there too! Swat! Swat! Stand still and be swatted! Oh Globbits! Buzz off you lot. Come here! Ugly things. [Wasp stings Berk] Ow, they sting! Come on Berk, let's get out of here. They're after me, they're after me! [Thort eats the Wasps] Fancy that, Thort's eaten them all. Right then, if you like them that much I know where there's plenty more. Steady! Steady! [Thort runs away dragging Berk behind him, who crashes into the kitchen] Well done Thort, he's gobbled all the things up! [A Wasp buzzes into view] Oh no, there's another one! Well done Thort, me old flower, me old vegetable.

The Thing Upstairs: Berk! I'm hungry!

Berk: Hungry sire? You are in luck. How would you fancy a nice salad? [Indicating Thort]

Lurkings

Berk: Hello! We're just going down the swamp to do a spot of fishing.

Boni: And I don't want to go.

Berk: Moany Boni! C'mon Drutt! [Drutt is very excited, and is running about the place] Steady now, little Drutt. He gets a bit excited. I better get some bait. Worms is best! [Berk opens The Trap Door and collects some worms] Right then, let's get going.

Boni: Do we have to?

Berk: Oh, shut up!

Boni: But fishing's so boring!

Berk: Old misery teeth!

Boni: What about The Trap Door Berk, you left it open? [Rogg comes up through The Trap Door]

Berk: [At the swamp] What a lovely day for a spot of fishing. Gotta catch something nice and vile for him upstairs. Happy Boni?

Boni: No Berk, I'm not at all happy, I'm bored.

Berk: Oh, come on. [Rogg is looking castle then makes his way outside] Oh look here's a nice spot. I bet there's some tasty snack swimming about in there. Ah, this is lovely. Aren't you glad you came now, Boni?

Boni: I'm cold, and I'm bored, and I want to go home. [Rogg finally catches up with them at the swamp]

Berk: Ah, here we are then. This is the life. [Drutt falls in the swamp] Drutt's enjoying himself! I bet I catch something really big, 'ay Boni?

Boni: I doubt that there's anything in there. [A big swampy creature with two eyes comes up and stares at the two] I say!

Berk: He's a biggen! [The creature disappears] I think I would have considerable trouble stuffing that in a sandwich! [Rogg watches them]

Boni: Can we go home now, Berk?

Berk: Oh, shut up! You're beginning to get on my nerves.

Boni: But I don't think you're going to catch anything, Berk.

Berk: Yes I will, there's something!

Boni: Well, hurry up and catch it then!

Berk: You can't rush things when you're fishing, Boni. Gotta be patient. [A fish jumps out the swamp] Oh, did you see that one? Now that would make a tasty meal, 'ay Boni?

Boni: Yes Berk.

Rogg: Yoo-Hoo!

Berk: What was that? [Rogg disappears] I thought I heard something then. [Drutt starts making a noise while eating the worms] Drutt! Stop eating them worms, you greedy little... [Berk whacks Drutt] How am I supposed to catch anything if you eat all the bait?

Boni: Berk!...

Berk: And you can shut up! You've done nothing but moan since we got here.

Boni: But there's... [Berk whacks Boni]

Berk: All I wanted was a nice afternoon's fishing. I wish I never bothered now.

Boni: But there's something behind you!

Berk: Something? [Berk turns around and sees Rogg]

Rogg: Boo! [Berk falls in the swamp] Hello. My name's Rogg.

Boni: Good old Rogg! He certainly brightened up my day.

Rogg: [To Berk in the swamp] Hello! I like fishing. Mind if I join you?

Berk: [Gurgling] Oh, I hate fishing!